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Men And Women Quotes Biography
Source:- Google.com.pk

Men Bashing

"Few women admit their age...
...Fewer men act it." — Bumper sticker.

"Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition." — Bumper sticker.

"Bart, a woman is like a beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one ! (chugs beer)" — Homer Simpson.

"Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex ?
...Mace will do that to you."

"The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think."

"According to the World's Worst Comics #1, the reason why women always wear those skimpy costumes is that men can't shoot straight when they're having erections !"

"Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like 'Second Tall Man'."

"I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable."

"Boobs are the proof that men can focus on 2 things at once."

"You know, there's a big difference between being 'hot' and being 'hot and sweaty'."    — ...she said.

"Do not confuse: 'Patching up things with our lovers' and 'Repairing the leaks in our inflate-a-dolls'."

"Not all men are annoying. Some are dead."

"Macho does not prove mucho."    — Zsa Zsa Gabor.

"Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you."    — Mae West (1892—1980).

"You know the movie you're watching is a 'chick flick' if you wake up and your wife is crying."    — Rick Oie.

"It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him."    — Helen Rowland.

"Supposedly I was created in god's image. I don't know... you'd think god would have a bigger penis than this."    — Anthony Myers.

"I now stand corrected — there is one gift a woman does not prefer to come in a small package."

"When was the last time you saw a 'size small' package of condoms ?"

"It would be a mistake to put fluoride in condoms because a cavity is exactly what I'm hoping for."    — James Knowles.

"Any woman that thinks the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high."

"Men only have two faults: Everything they say and everything they do."

"Behind Every Good Man Is An Even Better Woman."

"You can't throw him back because he doesn't meet the legal size limit."    — Dave Henry, Honeymoon Tip for Brides.

"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his."    — Oscar Wilde.

"Knowing what I do now about women, if I could just travel back in time to when I was 16 years old, I bet I would have gotten laid by now."    — Ed Smith.

"There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first."    — Adela Rogers St. John.

"Outside every thin woman is a fat man trying to get in."    — Katherine Whitehorn.

"You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For instance if they are placed around your throat, she's probably slightly upset."

"Men are like small children. You bring a new one home and the ones already there resent it."

"Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest."

"If Adam had had a real hairy back, we probably wouldn't be here today."    — Dave Henry.

"If women had any idea, even for a second, how we really looked at them, they would never stop slapping us."    — Dr. Katz.

"If men could fuck women in a cardboard box, they wouldn't buy a house."    — Dave Chappelle.

"Want proof that men are more creative than women ? Women will gladly pay someone else to build them a pair of big boobs, while men spend years crafting their own, using nothing but beer and pizza."    — Scott E. Frank.

"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder..."

"They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I find it's often in huge tits, too."    — Brad Wilkerson.

"My girlfriend says I'm a breast man, but I don't think I'm so shallow that I can only see one aspect of a woman's being. I'm also a hooter man, a jug man, a knocker man, a melon man and an ah-ooooooooga! man."    — Tim H. Richweis.

"So i went into Victoria's Secret and asked one of the bra-fitting ladies if they carried AAs. And the lady goes, 'try radioshack'."    — thisismykittyx.

"As a well-endowed man, I'm here to tell you it's not always easy. For one thing, a lot of women won't date a guy whose tits are bigger than hers."    — Brad Osberg.

"There's no marriage problem that bigger tits won't cure. Except maybe when the problem is that the husband has tits."    — Tim H. Richweis.

"Who gets to have sex with me ? There's only one fair way to decide this... I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 10. Okay, it's the one with the huge tits."    — Jim Rosenberg.

"Whenever I hear the saying 'Tit for Tat', I can't help but think, 'Way to go, Tat' !"    — Alex Calkins.

"My life's goal is to achieve total enlightenment. But I'll settle for a girlfriend with huge hooters."    — James Knowles.

"Husbands are like fires; they go out when unattended."    — Zsa Zsa Gabor.

"There's nothing like a girl with a plunging neckline to keep a man on his toes."

"It's not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Let's face it, chocolate is much more reliable than any man."

"I'd like to get married because I like the idea of a man being required by law to sleep with me every night."    — Carrie Snow.

"Women need a reason to have sex — Men just need a place."

One day, God calls on Adam & says, "Adam, I have some good news and some bad news ! The good news is that I gave you a penis and a brain. The bad news is that I only gave you enough blood to operate one organ at a time."

"God made Adam before Eve because you always make a rough draft before the final copy."

"It's true that all men are pigs. The trick is to tame one who knows how to find truffles."    — Lev L. Spiro.

"Anxiety /n./ The first time you can't do it a second time.
Panic /n./ The second time you can't do it the first time."

"I doubt whether any girl would be satisfied with her lover's mind if she knew the whole of it."    — Anthony Trollope (1815—82) British novelist.

"Men are like fine wine — they all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we'd like to have dinner with."    — Anonymous.

Women Bashing

"And then Adam said, 'What's a headache ?'."

"Like all young men, you greatly exaggerate the difference between one young woman and another." — George Bernard Shaw, Major Barbara.

"Belladonna /n/ in Italian, beautiful lady; in English, a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential similarity of the two languages." — Ambrose Bierce.

"Female /n./ Life support system for a pussy."

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible." — P. J. O'Rourke.

"As regards the individual nature, woman is defective and misbegotten, for the active power of the male seed tends to the production of a perfect likeness in the masculine sex; while the production of a woman comes from defect in the active power..." — Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica.

"Are Women Human ? In the year 584, in Lyon, France, 43 Catholic bishops and 20 men representing other bishops, after a lengthy debate, took a vote. The results were 32 yes, 31 no. Women were declared human by one vote."

"Here's to women. Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands." — Ambrose Bierce.

"Many a woman hasn't realized that she was raped until the check bounced."

"A woman who is unfaithful deserves to be shot." — Pancho Villa.

"Q: What do women and condoms have in common ?
A: They both spend more time in your wallet than on your penis."

"We have drugs to make women speak, but none to keep them silent." — Anatole France.

"There is always a need for intoxication: China has opium, Islam has hashish, the West has woman." — André Malraux (1901-1976).

"A beautiful woman is the hell of the soul, the purgatory of the purse, and the paradise of the eyes." — Fontenelle.

"Christ called as his Apostles only men. He did this in a totally free and sovereign way." — John Paul II (1920-2005) Polish Pope.

"If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." — Aristotle Onassis.

"The prettiest women are almost always the most boring, and that is why some people feel there is no God." — Woody Allen, 'Without Feathers'.

"If my wife really loved me, she would have married someone else !"

"If my wife's got the face of a saint — a Saint Bernard."

"Do you know why they call it PMS ? Because Mad Cow Disease was taken." — Unknown, presumed deceased...

"PMS: Potential Murder Suspect."

"Men get laid, but women get screwed." — Quentin Crisp.

"No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman." — Honoré de Balzac (1799—1850) French novelist. La Physiologie du mariage.

"In childhood a woman must be subject to her father; in youth to her husband; when her husband is dead, to her sons. A woman must never be free of subjugation." — The Hindu Code of Manu.

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