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Abused Women Quotes Biography
Source:- (Google.com.pk)

“The whole thing becomes like this evil enchantment from a fairy tale, but you're made to believe the spell can never be broken.”
― Jess C. Scott, Heart's Blood
tags: abuse, abused, abused-women, anger, crime, crime-fiction, evil, fairy-tale, fury, murder, rape, rape-culture, revenge, seven-deadly-sins, vigilante, wrath
30 likes
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“Mind control is built in lies and manipulation of attachment needs.

Valerie Sinason, from the Forward of the book”
― Alison Miller, Healing the Unimaginable: Treating Ritual Abuse and Mind Control
tags: abused-women, attachment, betrayal, child, child-abuse, child-abusers, cults, dissociation, dissociative-identity-disorder, emotional-abuse, fragment, lies, manipulation, mind, mind-control, muliple-personality-disorder, multiplicity, physical-abuse, psychological-abuse, psychology, rape, ritual-abuse, sexual-abuse, spiritual-abuse, splinter, therapy, torture, trauma
26 likes
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Justina Chen
“I wondered about her chicken-and-egg relationship with Dad. Which came first? Her helplessness or his controlling?”
― Justina Chen, North of Beautiful
tags: abuse, abused-women
17 likes
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Oliver Markus
“It's never ok to hit a girl. Never. Not even if she cheats on you. A girl is not your property. She's a human being. She is just as important as you. She is your equal. And her wishes and feelings are just as valid as yours. All you can do is treat her nice, and hope she wants to be with you. If she chooses to be with you, great! If not, or if she chooses to leave you at some point, you have to let her go. You have no right to stop her. You don't own her, and you don't have the right to tell her what to do. She's your partner. Not your servant, not your sex slave, and not your punching bag.”
― Oliver Markus, Sex and Crime: Oliver's Strange Journey
tags: abused-women, domestic-violence, equality, equality-between-partners, love-hurts, relationships
12 likes
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“But I’m not the one digging her grave; I didn’t open her hole in the earth when I drove away that night or when I couldn’t make her come with us. My dad dug it years ago; he forced her to lie down in it and kept her there by fear and beatings. And when she tried to get out, he stomped her back in. She has been lying there for twenty-five years. Her muscles have atrophied, her joints have stiffened, and she can’t see anything except him and the tight little space she calls home. I don’t know how she’ll get out; I can tug and pull and yank, but it won’t make any difference. She was right: she’s gotta solve it her own way.”
― Swati Avasthi, Split
tags: abused-women, domestic-violence
10 likes
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Maya Banks
“I've always considered myself a good person. I've never done anything to purposely hurt anyone. I was in shock that this happened to me, and because it did, I turned into this vengeful person. I've never truly hated anyone, but I was glad when I saw him lying there on the floor.”
― Maya Banks, Hidden Away
tags: abuse, abused-women, anger, rape, vengeance
9 likes
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Lundy Bancroft
“The symptoms of abuse are there, and the woman usually sees them: the escalating frequency of put-downs. Early generosity turning more and more to selfishness. Verbal explosions when he is irritated or when he doesn’t get his way. Her grievances constantly turned around on her, so that everything is her own fault. His growing attitude that he knows what is good for her better than she does. And, in many relationships, a mounting sense of fear or intimidation. But the woman also sees that her partner is a human being who can be caring and affectionate at times, and she loves him. She wants to figure out why he gets so upset, so that she can help him break his pattern of ups and downs. She gets drawn into the complexities of his inner world, trying to uncover clues, moving pieces around in an attempt to solve an elaborate puzzle.”
― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
tags: abuse, abused-women, abuser, abusive-men, abusive-partners, abusive-relationship, emotional-abuse, intimidation, mental-abuse, physical-abuse, verbal-abuse
9 likes
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Judith Lewis Herman
“Underlying the attack on psychotherapy, I believe, is a recognition of the potential power of any relationship of witnessing. The consulting room is a privileged space dedicated to memory. Within that space, survivors gain the freedom to know and tell their stories. Even the most private and confidential disclosure of past abuses increases the likelihood of eventual public disclosure. And public disclosure is something that perpetrators are determined to prevent. As in the case of more overtly political crimes, perpetrators will fight tenaciously to ensure that their abuses remain unseen, unacknowledged, and consigned to oblivion.

The dialectic of trauma is playing itself out once again. It is worth remembering that this is not the first time in history that those who have listened closely to trauma survivors have been subject to challenge. Nor will it be the last. In the past few years, many clinicians have had to learn to deal with the same tactics of harassment and intimidation that grassroots advocates for women, children and other oppressed groups have long endured. We, the bystanders, have had to look within ourselves to find some small portion of the courage that victims of violence must muster every day.

Some attacks have been downright silly; many have been quite ugly. Though frightening, these attacks are an implicit tribute to the power of the healing relationship. They remind us that creating a protected space where survivors can speak their truth is an act of liberation. They remind us that bearing witness, even within the confines of that sanctuary, is an act of solidarity. They remind us also that moral neutrality in the conflict between victim and perpetrator is not an option. Like all other bystanders, therapists are sometimes forced to take sides. Those who stand with the victim will inevitably have to face the perpetrator's unmasked fury. For many of us, there can be no greater honor. p.246 - 247
Judith Lewis Herman, M.D. February, 1997”
― Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery
tags: abuse, abuse-of-power, abused-women, attacks, bravery, courage, false-memory, fear, healing, honor, oppressed, power, psychotherapy, recovery, survivor, survivors, survivorship, therapy, trauma-survivors, victim, victim-blaming, victimization, victims
9 likes
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Lundy Bancroft
“The scars from mental cruelty can be as deep and long-lasting as wounds from punches or slaps but are often not as
obvious. In fact, even among women who have experienced violence from a partner, half or more report that the man’s emotional abuse is what is causing them the greatest harm.”
― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
tags: abuse, abused-women, abusive-men, abusive-partners, abusive-relationship, abusive-relationships, emotional-abuse, mental-abuse, physical-abuse, verbal-abuse
8 likes
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Alice Hoffman
“He knew exactly how to hit a woman, so that the marks hardly showed. He knew how to kiss her , too, so that her heart began to race and she'd start to think forgiveness with every breath. It's amazing the places that love will carry you. It's astounding to discover just how far you're willing to go.”
― Alice Hoffman, Practical Magic
tags: abused-women, love
7 likes
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Travis Luedke
“Ana never saw the rotten apples littering the ground as she continually reached for the rare golden apple on the tree. Ana had stepped in a lot of rotten apples in her lifetime. She should have learned by now.”
― Travis Luedke, The Nightlife: Las Vegas
tags: abused-women, hard-lessons, hopeless-romantic, optimism
5 likes
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Lundy Bancroft
“One of the obstacles to recognizing chronic mistreatment in relationships is that most abusive men simply don’t seem like abusers. They have many good qualities, including times of kindness, warmth, and humor, especially in the early period of a relationship. An abuser’s friends may think the world of him. He may have a successful work life and have no problems with drugs or alcohol. He may simply not fit anyone’s image of a cruel or intimidating person. So when a woman feels her relationship spinning out of control, it is unlikely to occur to her that her partner is an abuser.”
― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
tags: abuse, abused-women, abuser, abusive-men, abusive-partners, abusive-relationship, abusive-relationships, domestic-abuse, domestic-violence
4 likes
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Brandi Salazar
“Terri had already gotten her panties into a bunch just from one little phone call, so he knew coming at her too much too fast would be more trouble than it was worth. He couldn’t exactly beat her into submission, not right away anyway. Although he did enjoy seeing her get all riled up.
Nothing tugged at a man’s heartstrings like a pair of mascara smeared eyes.

Randy from Spring Cleaning-- Coming Summer 2012”
― Brandi Salazar, Spring Cleaning
tags: abused-women, dark, husband, marriage, stalker, women-s-fiction
3 likes
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Vanessa G. Foster
“The fresh, pungent summer smells of the forest bring me home to the natural, forgotten spiritual place deep inside me. The part of me where hope lives, where prayers are answered and life feels good.”
― Vanessa G. Foster, More Than Everything
tags: abused-women, alaska, forest, hope, prayers
2 likes
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Lundy Bancroft
“YOUR ABUSIVE PARTNER DOESN’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIS ANGER; HE HAS A PROBLEM WITH YOUR ANGER.
One of the basic human rights he takes away from you is the right to be angry with him. No matter how badly he treats you, he believes that your voice shouldn’t rise and your blood shouldn’t boil. The privilege of rage is reserved for him alone. When your anger does jump out of you—as will happen to any abused woman from time to time—he is likely to try to jam it back down your throat as quickly as he can. Then he uses your anger against you to prove what an irrational person you are. Abuse can make you feel straitjacketed. You may develop physical or emotional reactions to swallowing your anger, such as depression, nightmares, emotional numbing, or eating and sleeping problems, which your partner may use as an excuse to belittle you further or make you feel crazy.”
― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
tags: abuse, abuse-survivors, abused-women, abusive-men, abusive-partner, abusive-relationships, domestic-violence, emotional-abuse, physical-abuse
2 likes
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Vanessa G. Foster
“The canopy of trees overhead is so thick that only bits and pieces of blue sky can be seen overhead. Narrow rays of sunshine slice their way between the tree branches; slanted silver swords lighting my way.”
― Vanessa G. Foster, More Than Everything
tags: abused-women, alaska, forest, relationships, true-story
2 likes
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Tracy Winegar
“Clairey tasted the bile rising up in her throat, could smell the pathetic fear she was giving off, and they
were as familiar to her as waking and sleep, as hunger and thirst. In her time of peace there with Ellis, she had nearly forgotten the taste and smell of it, how her joints became liquid and her mouth became sour. That was what violence did to her.”
― Tracy Winegar, Good Ground
tags: abuse-recovery, abuse-survivors, abused-women
2 likes
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Lundy Bancroft
“Never believe a man’s claim that he has to harm his partner in order to protect her; only abusers think this way.”
― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
tags: abuse, abuse-survivors, abused-women, abusive-men, abusive-partners, abusive-relationship, domestic-abuse, domestic-violence
0 likes
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Lundy Bancroft
“When a man starts my program, he often says, “I am here because I lose control of myself sometimes. I need to get a better grip.” I always correct him: "Your problem is not that you lose control of yourself, it’s that you take control of your partner. In order to change, you don’t need to gain control over yourself, you need to let go of control of her.”
― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
tags: abuse-recovery, abused-women, abusive-men, abusive-partners, abusive-relationship, domestic-abuse, domestic-violence
0 likes
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Lundy Bancroft
“It is fine to commiserate with a man about his bad experience with a previous partner, but the instant he uses her as an excuse to mistreat you, stop believing anything he tells you about that relationship and instead recognize it as a sign that he has problems with relating to women.”
― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
tags: abuse, abused-women, abusive-men, abusive-partners, abusive-relationships, domestic-abuse, domestic-violence
0 likes
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Lundy Bancroft
“Have you ever heard a woman claim that the reason why she is chronically mistreating her male partner is because a previous man abused her? I have never run into this excuse in the fifteen years I have worked in the field of abuse. Certainly I have encountered cases where women had trouble trusting another man after leaving an abuser, but there is a critical distinction to be made: Her past experiences may explain how she feels, but they are not an excuse for how she behaves. And the same is true for a man.”
― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
tags: abuse, abused-women, abusive-men, abusive-partners, abusive-relationship
0 likes
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Lundy Bancroft
“Objectification is a critical reason why an abuser tends to get worse over time. As his conscience adapts to one level of cruelty—or violence—he builds to the next. By depersonalizing his partner, the abuser protects himself from the natural human emotions of guilt and empathy, so that he can sleep at night with a clear conscience. He distances himself so far from her humanity that her feelings no longer count, or simply cease to exist. These walls tend to grow over time, so that after a few years in a relationship my clients can reach a point where they feel no more guilt over degrading or threatening their partners than you or I would feel after angrily kicking a stone in the driveway.”
― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

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