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Women And Men Quotes Biography
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     "So i went into Victoria's Secret and asked one of the bra-fitting ladies if they carried AAs. And the lady goes, 'try radioshack'."    — thisismykittyx.

    "As a well-endowed man, I'm here to tell you it's not always easy. For one thing, a lot of women won't date a guy whose tits are bigger than hers."    — Brad Osberg.

    "There's no marriage problem that bigger tits won't cure. Except maybe when the problem is that the husband has tits."    — Tim H. Richweis.

    "Who gets to have sex with me ? There's only one fair way to decide this... I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 10. Okay, it's the one with the huge tits."    — Jim Rosenberg.

    "Whenever I hear the saying 'Tit for Tat', I can't help but think, 'Way to go, Tat' !"    — Alex Calkins.

    "My life's goal is to achieve total enlightenment. But I'll settle for a girlfriend with huge hooters."    — James Knowles.

    "Husbands are like fires; they go out when unattended."    — Buy at Amazon.comZsa Zsa Gabor.

    "There's nothing like a girl with a plunging neckline to keep a man on his toes."

    "It's not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Let's face it, chocolate is much more reliable than any man."

    "I'd like to get married because I like the idea of a man being required by law to sleep with me every night."    — Carrie Snow.

    "Women need a reason to have sex — Men just need a place."

    One day, God calls on Adam & says, "Adam, I have some good news and some bad news ! The good news is that I gave you a penis and a brain. The bad news is that I only gave you enough blood to operate one organ at a time."

    "God made Adam before Eve because you always make a rough draft before the final copy."

    "It's true that all men are pigs. The trick is to tame one who knows how to find truffles."    — Lev L. Spiro.

    "Anxiety /n./ The first time you can't do it a second time.
    Panic /n./ The second time you can't do it the first time."

    "I doubt whether any girl would be satisfied with her lover's mind if she knew the whole of it."    — Buy at Amazon.comAnthony Trollope (1815—82) British novelist.

    "Men are like fine wine — they all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we'd like to have dinner with."    — Anonymous.

    "Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street bald and still think they are beautiful !"

    "A man is driving down a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving up the same road. As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells: 'PIG!!'. The man immediately leans out his window and replies: 'BITCH!!'. They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road."    — Bob Castro.

    "A woman can fake an orgasm, but it takes a man to fake an entire relationship."    — puppet.

    "A man who is old enough to know better is always on the look out for a girl who doesn't."

    "Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all."

    "A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car."    — Carrie Snow.

    "Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade, since it consists principally of dealings with men."    — Conrad.

    "If men couldn't fuck there'd be a bounty on their heads."

    "If they sent one man to the moon, why can't they send them all ?"

    "Most men would never get laid if it weren't for the pity fuck."

    "The sex life of spiders is very interesting. He fucks her. She bites his head off."    — From a Women's Lib Poster.

    "War is menstruation envy."

    "I think the reason guys like women in leather outfits so much is because they have that new car smell."    — George Fara.

    "So I was seeing this new girl... until she noticed and closed her curtains."

    "You only lie to two people in your life: your girlfriend and the police."    — Jack Nicholson.

    "Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z... Wait, shit."    — JonTG.

    "When I first met my girlfriend, she asked me what I wanted in a woman. She pretended to be irritated when I said, 'My dick'."

    "Women want a lot of things from one man. Conversely, men want one thing from a lot of women."

    "Once you recognize the fact that all men are inherently pigs, your life becomes much simpler."

    "I have great sex with my girlfriend. She's very vocal, and most of it really turns me on. I love it when she screams, 'Harder!', I love it when she screams, 'Faster!'. The only problem I have is when she screams, 'Deeper!'."

    "Women don't want to hear what you think. They want to hear what they think — in a deeper voice."    — Bill Cosby.

    "The game women play is men."    — Adam Smith.

    "Did you know a male lion can rule over 30 females and mate over 50 times in one day ? You know, I think those male lions just may have life pretty well figured out."    — Keith Sanvidge.

    "A woman tries to get all she can out of a man, and a man tries to get all he can into a woman."    — Isaac Goldberg.

    "I sat down beside her, said hello, offered to buy her a drink... and then natural selection reared its ugly head."

    "If you keep the sexual harassment complaint forms in the bottom drawer, then you'll get a great view of the women's butts when they get one out !"

    "Memo to co-workers: Anyone who thinks my hanging mistletoe from my exposed penis is sexual harassment can just blow me !"    — Brad Simanek.

    "Dad," the 13-year-old boy asked, looking up from his social-studies text, "what did you do during the sexual revolution?"
    "Well, son," his father confided, "I guess you could say I was captured early and spent the duration doing the dishes."

[BeerHeavy.jpg] A wife: because beer is heavy...

    "When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer."

    "She said she was hot for me, so i gave her a spare heatsink. She didn't seem happy. I just don't understand women."    — MrRoboto1024.

    "Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved."

    "My wife says I'm not ambitious enough. I suppose I could find someone more supportive, but why bother ?"    — Jim Rosenberg.

    "Men — You can't live with 'em, and they only bleed when you whip 'em."

    "I shoplift sexy panties because my wife's panties aren't sexy enough for me to wear."

    "When you consider what a chance women have to poison their husbands, it's a wonder there isn't more of it done."    — Buy at Amazon.comKin Hubbard.

    "In yesterday's post, I asked how many of you guys would have sex with a robot if it was indistinguishable from a hot human woman. About 95% of the hetero guys said they would. The other 5% expressed a strong preference for lying."    — Scott Adams.

    "Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humour ?"    — Frank More Colby (1865—1925), US editor.

    "The trouble with some women is that they get excited about nothing — then marry him."

    "What do you call a guy who makes 'women in the kitchen' jokes ? Single."

    Guy, naked in front of the mirror: 'Two inches more, and I would be king'
    Wife: 'Two inches less, and you'd be queen'

    "Four inch nails is more like it!"    — Courtney Love about Nine Inch Nails.

    "Well, see, I was out with this chick last night, and we were in bed, and she groaned to me: 'Give me nine inches, and make it hurt!'. So, I fucked her twice and slapped her."

    Husband: "I don't know why you wear a bra, you've got nothing to put in it".
    Wife: "You wear briefs, don't you ?"

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